Saturday, November 17, 2007

1,001 Reasons I Wont Marry You Or Your Brother/Son/Uncle/Grandpa etc

This probably sounds ridiculous in the American context, but lets face it- I get marriage proposals every day in Mauritania. If someone doesnt ask me if I'm married, they ask me why I'm not married or they ask me to marry them on the spot. Dont think that this is just some phenomenon that only sketchy people out in the street ask me this, friends, coworkers, delegates from the Women's Ministry (that last one really gets on my nerves). This could be in a professional setting, in someone's house or in the street. At first I would be offended and pissed, but I have to reiterate that the mindset here is that women marry by 17 or 18 but men get married by 30 or 40. (Thats right, men normally marry women who are less than half their age).
So when people find out I'm 23 and not married, they get really worried about me, like I'm damaged goods and occasionally offer me their brother or cousin etc to marry. I then crack a big smile and explain that I'll be married after I finished my schooling (grad school or Phd). Then I remind them that I'm really pretty, why would I have to worry about finding a husband? Women then tend to smile and usually agree. I use this excuse for coworkers and women I am friends with.

There are other times when I can have more fun with the marriage refusal. This is when people I dont know and have never met try to get me to marry them or the poor schmucks they work with (these are the women's delegation, I can't think of a more ironic title for these do nothing government drones.) Thats when I decided I've got nothing to lose anyway and I come up with a list of culturally appropriate reasons I shouldn't marry a random mauritanian stranger on the spot. They are as follows. Note that just one excuse doesnt deter them, you need to use most of them in succession to really disturb a person and get them off the marriage warpath. None of these reasons happen to be true, but they work! Really, I wish you could see the looks on people's faces!


REASONS I CANNOT MARRY YOUR ____________ (Son, uncle, brother, grandfather, random friend, cousin, absolute stranger)

I dont like couscous
I dont like goathead
I cant eat goathead
I only eat hamburgers and french fries, and my husband would have to cook them for me
I dont like bosse or aish
I dont like children
I hate children and cannot have them
I want a husband who has 50 camels in the countryside, speaks english and will cook for me
I dont know how to cook
I dont know how to clean
I dont know how to make tea
I dont wear moulafas
My husband has to drive a brand new mercedes and have a huge house in Nema
This man is too old
This man is too young
This man is too ugly
I dont have contacts at the embassy and I cant get you a visa
I want two or more husbands
I want a man who will do everything for me
I want a keg at my wedding

The last reason might be the most offensive to Mauritanians...

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Tis The Season- Package Request

So yeah, just a small request for all of you who still read my blog even though I'm rather bad at updating it, but here's a list of things that -if shipped to me- would make life a little less boring in Nema. Here goes -

Food Items
Old Bay (Crab Spice)
Garlic Salt
Taco Seasoning
Craisins
Kool Aid
Cheese that can be shipped /Cheetos/Cheezits
Bacon that can be shipped
Sausage/Pepperoni ( I mean, it would be cool but probably not possible)

But really let me state the market is rocking right now and I'm able to cook alot of healthy, tasty meals!

DVDS- DVD disks with TV shows stolen from the internet is also a really good idea
Sitcoms - Simpsons, Family Guy, West Wing, Project Runway -Old School Twilight Zone
Movies- Anything with Zombies in it
Anything by Tarantino
Casablanca
Pink Floyd's The Wall
This is Spinal Tap
Amorres Perros
Beyond Borders
Clerks/ Anything By Kevin Smith
Grindhouse
The Exorcist
Any Lord of the Rings
Any Indiana Jones
Any Star Wars (Old Trilogy not the new one)
Any Monty Python



Thats pretty much it, I have to reiterate how lucky I feel the more time I spend here. I'd also like to mention that its really not hard to do without most of the things we take for granted in the US. Its really not that bad, the travel ban for the first 3 months just gets kind of irritating.
Soon enough it'll be Christmas and I'll be in Nouakchott, the land of salad, pizza and beer!

Miss you all!!!
-HEATHER

Bad At Blogging

Hi all I know its been a while since I've posted I figured I'd update you all on what has been happening with me in the last several weeks. I've started teaching classes at the CFPP, things are going pretty slowly. I spent the first week going over computer parts and Microsoft Word vocabulary in french. This week I'll start actually using the computer. I wore a mulaffa to class on Thursday and the girls (all my students are girls save one boy) totally loved it.

I also moved into my new house this week, just as the Director of the Girls Empowerment Programs came into town and dropped off 5 big boxes for me! Thanks everyone for the spice mixes, fruit and nuts!!! I'm so happy for them!! So I moved into my new house, I'll send pictures later I forgot my camera cord. Lets just start with saying my house is awesome and huge, but needs alot of work. All the money I spend towards fixing the roof, and bathrooms, etc will be taken as rent payments. Its not a bad system, it just requires alot of patience. I also have room for a garden, I hope to have one by this time next year. The house also has a staircase onto the roof so I can sleep under the stars whenever I want. I plan on getting a tea set so I can entertain Mauritanians- (their favorite pastime is hanging out with friends, drinking mint tea and looking at photos). This is the first time I've ever really lived on my own without a roommate. Needless to say the first night I hardly slept at all, it was incredibly windy and all the doors and windows were banging around. So all night I kept leaving my bedroom to close stuff and place rocks against doors that have no handles or locks. And then ants got into my sleeping bag and decided to take large chunks out of my torso. Soooo Painful!!! It was quite a night but I survived!

Things have been sort of strange around town for the last two weeks, there have been large protests in Nouakchott against the president and prices of consumer goods. Last week this meant that lots of middle school and high school boys got psyched up to a fever pitch and rioted in the market, throwing rocks and breaking car windows. They tried to storm the high school as well but failed. Its kind of hard to understand exactly whats going on and why students would care about the price of bread and soda (they dont have money, dont work or pay for anything). Both Edna, my sitemate and I had gotten back from the market about 10 minutes before it happened. No one was hurt, or targeted and we ended up fine. I'm still trying to figure out why they got children so psyched up about market prices. But anyway, dont worry, all of us are fine. The day of the big protests our neighbors the three sisters were very protective of us and stood out on their stoop yelling at anyone that came near. They then fed us lunch and dinner!
I promise to write more emails, topics to come include - how I avoid the countless marriage offers I recieve daily, why nema rocks, and many many others!!


LOVE AND MISS YOU ALL!!!