This probably sounds ridiculous in the American context, but lets face it- I get marriage proposals every day in Mauritania. If someone doesnt ask me if I'm married, they ask me why I'm not married or they ask me to marry them on the spot. Dont think that this is just some phenomenon that only sketchy people out in the street ask me this, friends, coworkers, delegates from the Women's Ministry (that last one really gets on my nerves). This could be in a professional setting, in someone's house or in the street. At first I would be offended and pissed, but I have to reiterate that the mindset here is that women marry by 17 or 18 but men get married by 30 or 40. (Thats right, men normally marry women who are less than half their age).
So when people find out I'm 23 and not married, they get really worried about me, like I'm damaged goods and occasionally offer me their brother or cousin etc to marry. I then crack a big smile and explain that I'll be married after I finished my schooling (grad school or Phd). Then I remind them that I'm really pretty, why would I have to worry about finding a husband? Women then tend to smile and usually agree. I use this excuse for coworkers and women I am friends with.
There are other times when I can have more fun with the marriage refusal. This is when people I dont know and have never met try to get me to marry them or the poor schmucks they work with (these are the women's delegation, I can't think of a more ironic title for these do nothing government drones.) Thats when I decided I've got nothing to lose anyway and I come up with a list of culturally appropriate reasons I shouldn't marry a random mauritanian stranger on the spot. They are as follows. Note that just one excuse doesnt deter them, you need to use most of them in succession to really disturb a person and get them off the marriage warpath. None of these reasons happen to be true, but they work! Really, I wish you could see the looks on people's faces!
REASONS I CANNOT MARRY YOUR ____________ (Son, uncle, brother, grandfather, random friend, cousin, absolute stranger)
I dont like couscous
I dont like goathead
I cant eat goathead
I only eat hamburgers and french fries, and my husband would have to cook them for me
I dont like bosse or aish
I dont like children
I hate children and cannot have them
I want a husband who has 50 camels in the countryside, speaks english and will cook for me
I dont know how to cook
I dont know how to clean
I dont know how to make tea
I dont wear moulafas
My husband has to drive a brand new mercedes and have a huge house in Nema
This man is too old
This man is too young
This man is too ugly
I dont have contacts at the embassy and I cant get you a visa
I want two or more husbands
I want a man who will do everything for me
I want a keg at my wedding
The last reason might be the most offensive to Mauritanians...
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2 comments:
i particularly like the im pretty one!
you can say you;ll only marry other blondes so you can have blonde babies
or you want red headed kids
or you have to wait till your sisters get married
also you only eat fresh fish
and need to live where you can see the water
this is rue of me but i have husbands lining up out the doors too
i love you
those are great. I'm going to start taking notes of them myself...
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